Miri is far from alone. Many single women seeking love draw a firm line when it comes to height, automatically disqualifying men who don’t meet their standards.
The feature sparked an immediate reaction. While some users found the addition amusing, others accused Tinder of waging war on shorter men and dooming them to eternal singledom on dating apps. Interestingly, it wasn’t just men who voiced concerns—many women admitted that had they used the feature, they might never have met their current partners.
Yehudit Geulayev, a relationship coach and founder of a center for relationship empowerment, says the reason many women automatically dismiss shorter men is rooted in evolution. “A woman’s basic need is to feel secure with the man beside her—physically, financially and emotionally,” she explains.
“On a physical level, the taller and broader the man, the more secure the woman tends to feel. That’s why many women prefer having a man who can physically envelop them. Subconsciously, there’s a perception that the taller the man, the stronger and more attractive he is,” Geulayev says. “Some women are simply deterred by shorter men because they lack that sense of physical protection and comfort.”
She notes that this instinct stems from a primal survival mechanism dating back to prehistoric times, when women were more exposed to existential threats. “Women will tell you that a man’s height contributes not only to their sense of physical safety, but also to their partner’s perceived status, image and their own self-confidence—especially in how they appear publicly when walking beside him.”
Miri agrees that her partner’s height affects her confidence. “When a short man stands next to me, I feel like everyone is looking at me strangely,” she says. “Even as a strong, self-assured woman, it can shake my confidence. I just don’t feel comfortable in that situation, so I avoid it altogether.”
“Being next to a tall man feels amazing,” she adds. “Every strong, independent woman wants a solid, strong man by her side in a supportive relationship.”
Do you check a man’s height before going on a date?
“Yes, but unfortunately, some men either don’t list their height on dating apps or lie about it to test the dynamic. A year ago, I went out with a guy who wasn’t honest about his height. I gave it a chance, tried to use it as a form of therapy to break through that mental block, but it didn’t work. I could meet the most amazing short man, and we could have great communication, but I wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship with him because I’m simply attracted to tall men. I can’t compromise on attraction.
“I’ve tried giving these chances. The first time I dated a short man, we were together for over three years. We met through mutual friends and ended up talking a lot. His masculinity, calm nature, attentiveness and support drew me in. He believed in me and encouraged me to grow, even pushed me to study law.
“There were butterflies at the beginning—I fell in love. He was a wonderful man, and I couldn’t have asked for a better relationship. But as time went on and routine took over, the excitement faded and the negatives began to surface. We started fighting a lot, and I think I was subconsciously looking for flaws, trying to compensate for the height issue.
“I tried to suppress those thoughts, but when I realized the issue really was his height, I didn’t know how to end it without hurting him. It was very difficult. After that experience, I decided I wouldn’t date shorter men again—but I still did.
“For example, two years ago I went on a few dates with someone. We laughed a lot and had fun, but I couldn’t take it to a romantic place. More recently, I was in a two-month relationship with a guy who was mature, intelligent and a real gentleman, but I felt like I was dating a child. I was uncomfortable.
“Honestly, after all these attempts, I don’t think personality traits can bridge that gap for me. Every time I’ve dated a shorter man, I’ve tried to set the height issue aside, but it kept resurfacing and eventually ended the relationship.”
Geulayev argues that women who fixate on a specific height are missing out on many good, high-quality men and that true masculinity is not about physical stature, but about deeper personal traits.
“A woman is wired in a way that allows her to fall in love over time,” she explains. “As she gets to know a man’s personality and is drawn in by who he is, no height or external appearance will stand in the way.”
According to Geulayev, a man who is confident, charismatic and doesn’t base his self-worth on his appearance is more likely to succeed in relationships. “What matters is what he radiates, especially the ability to make a woman feel emotionally secure and supported.”
She encourages men not to let height dictate their self-confidence. “Approach women with self-assurance. Don’t let your height control your presence; act like you’re six feet tall. The less a man makes it an issue, the less it becomes one for the woman.”
Geulayev advises men to showcase traits that convey strength and character. “Masculinity, leadership, assertiveness, humor and wit—there are so many other ways to impress a woman. And they work.”
Avi Eliyahu, 25, from Ashkelon, admits that he’s often been dismissed by women solely because of his height. Still, as Geulayev notes, he’s learned to leverage his strengths and has dated many smart, attractive women.
“I don’t want to sound arrogant, but I don’t know many guys my height who’ve managed to date and win over the kind of amazing women I’ve dated,” he says. “Still, there’s no denying that height plays a role. If I were 6’2″ with my personality, I could get women easily; I know how to speak and treat a woman. But I’m 5’3″, and yes, height does trip me up. It’s not a pleasant feeling, knowing someone sees only your height and not who you are or your character. It feels shallow.”
At the same time, he says he understands the subconscious thought process some women have around height. “I think it’s evolutionary; height gives a woman a sense of security and helps her feel protected. There’s no doubt I have to work harder than others to find a relationship, but I’m proactive. I observe what works and what doesn’t, and I keep trying to make it happen.”
Is it easier to meet people face-to-face than on dating apps?
“It’s always better to meet someone in person, to feel the energy and connection. I used to rely on dating apps to find a relationship, but lately I’ve moved away from them; they just slow down the process. It all feels fake and unserious. I don’t list my height on apps, but if someone asks, I answer honestly.
“If I were tall, I’d probably mention it in my profile. But I know some women won’t even reply to a message because of it. That alone can be grounds for disqualification, no matter who you are or what you’re like. That’s why if I meet someone I like, I’ll approach her, strike up a conversation, flirt a little. Sometimes I get rejected; it’s unpleasant, but it doesn’t shake me. I’d rather try.”
Avi, who dances Latin styles, recalls meeting a sweet woman at a dance event. “One day, I called her outside and asked her out—just like that. I surprised myself because I’d never spoken that directly and confidently before.”
How did you manage to overcome women’s height bias?
“Through energy, humor and compliments. I try to be attuned to the woman next to me and give her attention. I have a lot to give—I love surprising my partner with gifts, flowers and little gestures. I show up with charisma, presence and a sense of humor.
“Not long ago, I went to a bar with a friend and we started talking to a group of women. One of them was a tall, striking blonde. I told her, ‘Either you sit down or take a step back because you’re killing my charisma,’ and she laughed. She was into me. I joke about my height because what matters more is how a man carries himself.
“There are things you can’t control, like your height, the family you were born into or your past. But there are things you can control, and those are the things I work on. My confidence, self-image, the way I take care of myself, the relationships I build, the money I earn and the future I aim for.
“I believe that control breeds confidence, and confidence is attractive—it says a lot about a person. I can say this without hesitation: I’m never boring. I’m not just my height, I’m a whole world. And whoever ends up with me will get a whole world in return: love, financial security and attention. I’ll work hard to give her everything she’s ever dreamed of.”
“When a man lies about his height, he comes across as insecure and unreliable. It sends a message of weakness, and no matter how he tries to compensate, the damage to his impression is already done.”
Just like Avi, other men can overcome the perceived obstacle of height and become genuinely desirable to women, says Geulayev. “Nothing external can hurt you, unless you feel it internally,” she emphasizes. “A person who believes in himself and values who he is won’t be affected by outside criticism or passing remarks. But someone who is insecure inside will be.
“The more a man builds inner confidence and self-worth, recognizes his strengths and leads with pride in who he is, the more the world reflects that energy back to him.”
Geulayev refers to a principle in the law of attraction: like attracts like. “You don’t attract what you want—you attract who and what you are. The energy you radiate, whether high or low, is what draws people to you. So if you’re a man who knows his value, even if you’re on the shorter side, that’s how women will treat you. In the end, we’re drawn to energy.”
She cautions men against hiding or lying about their height. “When a man lies about his height, he comes across as insecure and unreliable. It sends a message of weakness, and no matter how he tries to compensate, the damage to his impression is already done. The right approach is always to be truthful and authentic.”
As for women, Geulayev says those who have moved past the “height barrier” often did so after realizing that a man’s true strength doesn’t lie in his physical stature, but in the energy he projects. “That energy is shaped by his self-confidence, his charisma and his presence.”
“This shift happens when people stop defining themselves by their appearance and start believing in their value and capabilities,” she adds. “I’ve personally dated several men who were relatively short, and it honestly didn’t bother me once I saw the confidence they radiated from within.”
